Using Dharma to Navigate Choices
Who else has ever struggled with indecisiveness at some point in life? I’m guessing most people reading this. We live in a (Western) world where we each have an overwhelming number of choices for virtually any and all paths presented to us: what to eat, what to spend money on, what university to attend, whether to attend university, what career to pursue, what relationships to pursue, where to settle down, how to spend our free time, etc. You get it.
And so we’re often left with the questions, “what is the right choice?” and “how do I know I’m choosing the correct path?” Enter this concept of Dharma. I’m sure many of you have heard of the term Dharma, as several influential mindfulness teachers and practitioners are talking about it today. Interestingly, there is no clean and clear-cut English definition of Dharma, and its meaning is rooted in various (i.e. Hindu, Bhuddist, Yogic, and Ayurvedic) teachings. Given this, I am inclined to use a definition of Dharma that I think is well used and understood today: an individual, perhaps predetermined, life purpose or path.
And so this begs the bigger questions--what is my life’s purpose? What is my individual path? What am I meant to do in this world full of endless choice?
When I was younger, I had an uncomplicated understanding of my life’s “Purpose”. It was congruent with society’s artificial timeline, and attached to the bigger life milestones often depicted in the media: my life’s purpose is to do well in school, go to university, get a degree, find a job, fall in love, get married, buy a house, have kids, etc. As an adult, I understand that Purpose is complicated. Many people do abide by this timeline, want most of the things on that list (and in that order), and are really happy when they choose the things on that list. But also, many people choose less linear paths and are just as happy. Others choose a few items on that list and find Purpose not in a career, for example, but in the relationships they cultivate. Interestingly, Purpose can shift as we grow older, navigate our unique life experiences, and gain perspective about what drives us and brings us joy.
It has become apparent to me that life’s Purpose is more appropriately classified as a journey instead of a destination -- a cliché that I have known for some time, but never really appreciated. It is the journey that comprises a series of choices that we each get to make every single day. Some choices are more onerous and require more thought, and others are perhaps more trivial. But at the end of the road, our past choices come together to form a “a bigger picture”, which I view as Dharma or “Purposeful Life” in and of itself. I think it’s about harnessing the power we have to choose. And in a world where there is no shortage of choice, one of our biggest super powers may just be to understand ourselves well enough to take actions that align with what we are looking for in life. Great! So how do we do that?
There are many practices we can do today to understand and materialize our own aspirations and desires. For the purposes of this post, I want to hone in on one. Lately, living true to my own Dharma has looked like this: leaning into what feels energetically right when presented with an opportunity to make a choice. For example, sometimes I will be having coffee with a friend, and in the middle of the conversation, I will have overwhelming feelings of inspiration and inclination to choose some sort of action. I’ve also experienced these feelings when reading a book, looking at art, or even working. I’ve heard mindfulness teachers refer to these “energetic feelings” as energy portals, a calling, and even intuition. I think we all experience these inexplicable sensations from time to time, and so it’s important for us to lean into them, to opportunize them, and to make conscious choices that align with them.
And notably, we need not put so much pressure on ourselves when making choices. I believe that whenever we choose passion, joy, beauty, or love (whatever that looks like), we are actualizing our Dharma in some way. I heard a meditation teacher once say, “life is not about making the right choice, or choosing the correct path. It is actually about making a choice, and making that choice the right choice.”
So I will leave you with that.